My (almost) eight year old daughter has been complaining lately that I spend too much time on my Blackberry. She even went as far as to say, “I wish it would crash….” (I kid you not!). Of course, I was quick ask her why she would say such a thing; to which she retorted that I spend more time on my BB than I do her; which, let me hasten to say, is an exaggeration on her part. With that being said, I started thinking about how attached/addicted we (parents) are to our Blackberries (and similar gadgets). We will forget to pack our children’s favorite snack or even forget to deodorize our underarm, but we will NEVER leave home without our BB’s.
I have observed many parents/guardians, etc. in different settings with children, and instead of engaging with the children in their charge, they can be seen BBing their lives away, to the chagrin of those little ones, who are sometimes afraid of voicing their disgust at this gadget that we, adults, seemingly CANNOT live without. We BB in church, at school functions, during dinner, in the middle of a discussion, while cooking – we BB everywhere!
The truth is, at age 8, etc. a child doesn’t care that it’s cheaper to bb than to make a call; she doesn’t care that all emails are delivered to the phone, some of which are business-related – she doesn’t care that BBing is not all about play, etc. None of that matters to our children. Our children are observing us; they are learning from us. All they see is the care and attention we place on these darn gadgets and how easily attached we become to them, and then they process this attachment accordingly. What good can possibly come of this? What do you think we are saying to them, by our actions? It is, therefore, our responsibility to ensure that the message we are sending to THEM (by way of our actions) is being transmitted in such a way that impacts positively on their upbringing/well-being. They should never be made to feel that our BB’s are more important than they are (even if we know that this is not so).
What could be so important all the time (all day) that can’t wait until a movie is finished or until we have had dinner? What could be so important (all the time), that we must respond to a “PING” in the middle of a conversation we are having with our child? It is hard to imagine that we once existed in a world where we did NOT need to know what was happening every minute of the day. How many of us can actually survive for a day without our BBs?
It is against this backdrop that I came to an agreement (with her): no BBing during dinner; no BBing when I’m reading to her; No BBing whilst watching her favorite movie/tv show with her; and no BBing in the middle of a discussion. Needless to say, she was super elated!! This also means turning off the “ALERTS” so that the associated sounds do not interfere with the “bonding” process. The sounds, even while being ignored, can still be viewed as “interrupters” by the children we are trying to raise, and to the messages we are trying to transmit (to them).
So I urge all of us (parents), let’s take time away from our Blackberries – turn it off for a day, so that quality time REALLY is that – QUALITY TIME! I dare you to take that challenge. NO BBing TODAY!!!
Peace be with you, as we strive to uncover and confront the truth about parenting!
PARENTING, ADVOCACY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN 
You always seem to make posts that are timely for me. Last night I was in a play, and saw someone in the dark checking their Facebook posts every second. But I didn’t wonder how it affected the child beside her; it was true, they kept looking up at her with a funny look on their face.
So true Meisha! Children are not silly people… no matter how young they are, they see what’s happening. Although they may not be able to process some things at a very young age, they will EVENTUALLY! We must all take heed!