Good for you if you have never offended anyone or if anyone has never offended you. Clearly, you are living under a rock. Obviously, we are all going to offend/hurt each other (in great or small ways) at some point in our interactions with each other – friends, family, coworkers, strangers-in-passing, etc. Once we coexistContinue reading “Beautified Abuse”
“Surviving Self-Awareness” IS A Thing!
As far as I was concerned, I was taking a long sabbatical from writing poetry and was gonna be completely focused on different types of continuous prose. However, poetry decided that it wasn’t done with me, and in the midst of my departure, poetry instructed me to engage, by sometimes literally waking me in theContinue reading ““Surviving Self-Awareness” IS A Thing!”
THE KILLING WON’T STOP.
When a person strategizes on ways to kill and “kill”, the damage can be irreversible; our bodies can die or our will to live may die.
WHEN IT’S TIME TO GO, WE KNOW.
It is not worth the long-term effects on our physical, emotional, and mental health to remain in any space that does not serve us or that we are not serving them. We owe it to our today and the possibility of a tomorrow to remove ourselves so that we can give ourselves the love that we deserve
The POWER of Keeping your WORD.
Ultimately, many of us operate in such tunnel vision ways that we are incapable of seeing how our actions affect the other person.
PARENTING PIVOT: MOM! I AM AN ADULT.
Parenting, an emotionally rewarding and challenging task, entails a mix of unconditional love, introspection, self-awareness, honesty… The process requires constant adjustment, especially as children transition to adulthood, necessitating balance, respect for new boundaries, and room for evolution.
SHAME, ON YOU!
Those who use shame as a weapon are often very strategic at their shame-attempts to destroy you and will not stop until they see or feel that you are mentally decapitated.
“TRANSACTIONAL NECESSITY” – Take it or leave it!
All relationships do not require depth. Some are classified as an interaction to serve a purpose – to help you achieve that which you desire (temporary gratification or a long-term goal). It could be as simple as getting ice-cream at your favourite parlour or the one you have with your supervisor/boss/coworker. Once we understand whatContinue reading ““TRANSACTIONAL NECESSITY” – Take it or leave it!”
A MOVIE AND ME-TIME
I was in a public setting having a light-hearted chat with a friend of sorts and another person I just met. As most impromptu chats go, one topic led to the next, and we started chatting about movies. It was revealed that I had gone to see Equalizer 3 by my lonesome. Amid sharing my utterContinue reading “A MOVIE AND ME-TIME”
The Dangers of Forgiveness
Many solid-appearing relationships (platonic, romantic, etc.) are sustained by different motivations that do not require any depth or real considerations of forgiveness when things go awry. Then there are those relationships where there are regular emotional check-ins with private and public acts of respect. In these relationships, people hold themselves and their “relationship partners” accountableContinue reading “The Dangers of Forgiveness”
KNOW yourself so you can “NO!” them.
The beautiful thing about coming to that level of self-awareness is that once you are there, you are UNSHAKEABLE and UNBREAKABLE. But, it takes work, which involves uncomfortable honesty with self.
Shhh! This is PURE MATH.
The pandemic did many things that hurt, but it also provided access we wouldn’t normally have. For me, I was able to have intermittent fly-on-the-wall experiences with my daughter’s classroom shenanigans and serious discussions. Having to go to work and school from home gave many parents that type of access, regardless of how big orContinue reading “Shhh! This is PURE MATH.”
GET A “PEACE”….. PLEASE!
The pandemic did more than wreak havoc. It changed my trajectory and forced me to operate outside of my usual modus operandi – to take control of my potential and create according to God’s instruct. With this, the experiences of the pandemic were translated to about thirteen pandemic-related poems. At last minute, I decided thatContinue reading “GET A “PEACE”….. PLEASE!”
NUFF SELF-RESPECT!
Respecting oneself is applicable across every single interaction we will have had in our lifetime. When we disrespect ourselves by “showing up” to situations that do not serve us, we are teaching people how to disrespect us. Be reminded, though, that “showing up” is not only specific to actual events, but giving people access to treat us in ways that go against who we are in Christ. We are encouraged to stop letting greed, lust, lack, fear, status, etc., force us to disrespect ourselves.
MY GREATEST LOVE AFFAIR….
‘Tis the night before, and the world is preparing for the day when everyone gets to express how they feel about and to their loved ones. Men and women, boys and girls everywhere are waiting, with bated breath, to receive those tangible expressions, so that they can ascertain the extent to which they are loved/appreciated/desired. Continue reading “MY GREATEST LOVE AFFAIR….”
A word series: “INCONSEQUENTIAL”
I found the perfect work outfit, this time in a jiffy. The blouse was easy to iron – the trousers, not so much, but all I needed to do was to get the extra creases out. Nobody’s gonna know … how will they know…? Once I have sat down to drive and have gotten up,Continue reading “A word series: “INCONSEQUENTIAL””
Unmasking the GBV Variant
The person who suffers psychological, financial and emotional abuse often feels lost and unaccounted for within a system that doesn’t give much room to speak about the trauma of this abuse variant. Within the context of Gender-Based Violence (GBV), what does a person have to complain about when they are not being physically harmed, right?Continue reading “Unmasking the GBV Variant”
WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?!
The universe has a way of aligning us with the things that matter and revealing to us those that do not. Interestingly, the concept of CHOICE-MAKING has been chasing me in the last four months and presenting itself as the core of human existence – or at least an existence that is free from unnecessaryContinue reading “WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?!”
A Cliché Survival of 2021
By the end of 2020, everyone suddenly became a soothsayer and was foretelling what 2021 would entail. As future-telling designers, we dressed 2021 in all sorts of pandemic-ending garbs and pre-celebrated all the things that we believed would have followed. But 2021, like the woman who refuses quit with her three offsprings in tow, strippedContinue reading “A Cliché Survival of 2021”
SMILE AND NOD!
One of the first things a person does before addressing a group is to find out about the audience. For example, what is their educational background, what do they know about the topic, are these experts in the field, etc.? We must also determine what it is that we are hoping to achieve. When weContinue reading “SMILE AND NOD!”
A song and a head bop remind us….
With both ears plugged and the bass pumping, I am sitting behind my laptop doing some gender analysis while listening to some “Groove Theory” and bopping my head. How do I manage to read a serious document, write and bop at the same time you may ask? The answer is simple: music and dance combinedContinue reading “A song and a head bop remind us….”
The Respect Debate
“Do you respect me?” he asked. “Am I respectful to you”? she asked respectfully? “It is not about whether you are respectful or not. I just know you do not respect me, and that’s the problem I have with you”, he pontificated. She pondered her retort. “Within this context, why should it matter if IContinue reading “The Respect Debate”
TRUTH COMMUNITY
I happened upon a clip of Gabrielle Union talking about how as women or as people as a whole, we go through things – usually that which is “difficult” – and then we look for community to help us through. For example, she highlighted the following questions: Am I a bad mother? Is this justContinue reading “TRUTH COMMUNITY”
ARE WE ONLY AS GOOD AS OUR LAST PERFORMANCE?
Approximately 3 years ago, in the days when we could speak unmasked, I was required to give an impromptu address to a group of around 100. Now, this was nothing major. In fact, it sounds more exquisite and important than it was. It was literally just me responding to something I was asked within context. Continue reading “ARE WE ONLY AS GOOD AS OUR LAST PERFORMANCE?”
PANDEMIC FATIGUE OR NAAH…. PLEASE STEP BACK!!
The sign reads clearly: PLEASE REMAIN SIX FEET APART. Additionally, the store has operated above and beyond to lay feet markers on the floor, in the event that we, the customers, have no concept of what 6 feet look like. Good for us, right?! So, we are all standing in the queue waiting to beContinue reading “PANDEMIC FATIGUE OR NAAH…. PLEASE STEP BACK!!”
MY DISQUIETED STILLNESS
Each time I blog post, I am “led” to do so, one way or another. As it stands now, there are about five pieces stored in my repertoire that I have written over the past three months and have not yet posted, for one reason or the other. Simply put, I have been feeling quiet.Continue reading “MY DISQUIETED STILLNESS”
The Parent Actor: a necessary show.
The Parent Actor: A necessary show. Since she was able to properly formulate a sentence, the routine has always been that she would provide me with either a blow by blow of her day or a synopsis of the main happenings of her time away…. Not much has changed since she was a toddler, exceptContinue reading “The Parent Actor: a necessary show.”
Ashamed of Love!?!
My last two posts have inadvertently been about operating in love in one way or another, and today I feel compelled to extend the conversation, but from a slightly different perspective. Interestingly, “love” has also been the topic of discussion from several perspectives in at least six conversations with six different persons – all unrelated.Continue reading “Ashamed of Love!?!”
A LIVING CHANGE!
“Live your life in a way that suits you, but don’t set out to hurt people. Apologize when you are wrong, And don’t hesitate to walk away from that which doesn’t serve your soul.” Stacey A Palmer, 2021 On this journey called life, we either change or we remain the same. Many have actually saidContinue reading “A LIVING CHANGE!”
The Virtuous Customer/Service?
The week was a hectic one; I hardly had time to scratch my head… not quite that, but you get it. So Saturday rolls around, and I decide that I would not be making any lunch or dinner… too tired for that. Maybe, I could run out and get us something for lunch. I haveContinue reading “The Virtuous Customer/Service?”
Are you “her” or “him” hiding in plain sight?!
As the story is told (with my own twist), she left him and moved on to a new relationship and was thriving there. He didn’t like that, so he hatched a plan for her to come back “home”. If she didn’t do as he wanted, he had something more sinister in mind. In his questContinue reading “Are you “her” or “him” hiding in plain sight?!”
From Fear to Fair…
I don’t think anyone needs any special skill or gift to see what is happening, as this whole pandemic has truly highlighted how hardened we have become as individuals and as a larger society, in a way that I am not sure I can truly say that we have ever observed before. Maybe it isContinue reading “From Fear to Fair…”
Fixing the mental “Klunk Ku Klunk”
I am driving along minding my business and singing along to the sweet sounds of 90s R&B, when suddenly I heard it. Klunk ku klunk ku klunk. Dah heck?!! Why do I feel as if I am on the bumpiest road ever? Except, I am not! Immediately, I can tell this is not normal. AlthoughContinue reading “Fixing the mental “Klunk Ku Klunk””
REJECTION IS AS NECESSARY AS IT IS INEVITABLE!
I am STILL trying to figure out why the world is so cruel to women. The data presented on the World Health Organization website[1] is frightening and puts into perspective that violence against women is a global crisis, so much so that it is being referred to as “devastatingly pervasive”. The question that begs toContinue reading “REJECTION IS AS NECESSARY AS IT IS INEVITABLE!”
No, thanks! No deterrent.
“when your intentions are pure, you don’t lose anyone; they lose you” – Nipsey Hustle Have you ever ignored a gut feeling to extend a “helping hand”, for one reason or the other but didn’t; only to learn later that had you gone ahead with that push-to-do-something, it would have made a world of aContinue reading “No, thanks! No deterrent.”
Self…? CONTROL!!
Jesus loves little children…. Cows love to graze…. Dogs love bones…. Cats love tuna And…. I LOVE ice-cream! Ever since I read that article about Corona and Ice-cream several months ago (and wrote a blog about it), I have been very skeptical about indulging in one of my favourite pass time – eating ice-cream. Lately,Continue reading “Self…? CONTROL!!”
A SISTER KNOWS…!
It is interesting how 2 heavy days out of a 7-day week can infiltrate the experience of your entire week and let you feel like your entire week was bad. These are the lies we tell ourselves that we somehow believe! Luckily for me, a sister/friend checked in and offered a very timely reminder… WeContinue reading “A SISTER KNOWS…!”
Parenting and Trauma: the “Broken Repair”
I am certain some of what will be stated in this blog I would have already mentioned to some extent in previous blogs; either way, I think it prudent to those of us who are on this parenting/mothering/fostering/child-rearing journey to hear the experiences of those of us who are still learning as we go along,Continue reading “Parenting and Trauma: the “Broken Repair””
Carrying the burdens of 409[1]… it is a heavy time!
Disclaimer: I am a believer in God’s Grace and His mercy, so I exist in complete gratitude, generally. All of that is a given, so NONE of that which should occur in thankfulness is lost on me. The pandemic was declared on March 11, 2020. When it was first announced, everyone I know as wellContinue reading “Carrying the burdens of 409[1]… it is a heavy time!”
YOUR BEST MAY NOT BE THEIR ENOUGH, BUT IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE GOOD ENOUGH!
I was recently placed in a situation that forced me to sit in that quiet space and truly introspect deeply. Within that time of quiet introspection, I remember something that someone had said to me prior that “the way we THINK people experience us is not always how they do” (and I’m paraphrasing). Even thoughContinue reading “YOUR BEST MAY NOT BE THEIR ENOUGH, BUT IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE GOOD ENOUGH!”
IS A FICKLE FRIENDSHIP FAKE OR IS A FAKE FRIENDSHIP FICKLE?
Can anyone say today’s blog title five times without being tongue-tied? Try it and let me know…. I couldn’t. Friendship is an important part of every person’s life. It contributes to the overall well-being and happiness of an individual. Even the recluse relies on “friendship” of some kind in order to survive, at some pointContinue reading “IS A FICKLE FRIENDSHIP FAKE OR IS A FAKE FRIENDSHIP FICKLE?”
THE AUDACITY….Boys to men!
I am literally experiencing a kaleidoscope of emotions right now. I am tired, drained, angry and confused from all the news about women being beaten, raped, abused in one way or the other and killed. I just don’t get what is happening. I know that this is nothing new and that women have been sufferingContinue reading “THE AUDACITY….Boys to men!”
No fear for the smear!
You do yourself and your community a disservice when you keep hidden the ways in which you have successfully navigated certain ills to come out on the better end of it. ————————————- I was chatting with a friend who hinted that an acquaintance was trying to figure out how to deal with being publicly smearedContinue reading “No fear for the smear!”
Just laugh….OUT LOUD!
I am sure there are times when my neighbours wonder what it is that I am laughing about. As much as I am an introvert is as much as I love a belly full of laughter and will literally do so by myself – loudly; I simply refuse to stifle my laugh. With all thatContinue reading “Just laugh….OUT LOUD!”
MY PEN SAVED ME.
Today’s post is being made the day after my first book was published and the day that my book launch for “The Chronicles of a Woman: The Truth-teller” will be held. As I sit and reflect, heart racing and nail-biting, I remember the days when I felt that all I had was my pen. InContinue reading “MY PEN SAVED ME.”
FORGIVE YOURSELF….
“Hold your head up, and do NOT wear your shame like it’s your skin” – Stacey A Palmer She has offended you, somehow. She apologizes and seeks your forgiveness. You refuse (for whatever reasons internal to you). You see her smiling and going about her day. “She doesn’t appear contrite,” you say. “Farthest from theContinue reading “FORGIVE YOURSELF….”
IS THE WOMAN ALWAYS SCORNED?
The story of a man and woman parting and the man quickly moving on to the next available person is not unique. It is also not unique that the man can easily start a relationship – in whichever way – with the woman’s best friend, sister, boss, cousin, church sister, mother, perfect stranger or hisContinue reading “IS THE WOMAN ALWAYS SCORNED?”
THE SILENT DILEMMA OF WORKPLACE ABUSE
“If she causes me so much distress, how does she expect me to perform my job well?” I could tell that my friend was extremely stressed, and by the end of our tête-à-tête, I was able to garner the issue to be a long-standing one for him. He explained that he had been working inContinue reading “THE SILENT DILEMMA OF WORKPLACE ABUSE”
Leisure time is productivity too!
What does it mean that almost everyone I know, (myself included) has multiple streams of income, and are most times too tired to think, because of how hard we are always working to earn the next dollar or to simply make ends meet? We live in an era that constantly bombards us with overt andContinue reading “Leisure time is productivity too!”
LEAVE MY ICE-CREAM ALONE!
My daughter, for all intents and purposes, sent me a news link to a story about ice-cream recall in China. The headline reads: “Chinese city reports coronavirus found on ice cream” What does this mean?!!!! The moment I opened the message and saw the headline, my heart sank. I instantly went into ice-cream panic. AsContinue reading “LEAVE MY ICE-CREAM ALONE!”
The Politics of “I love you”
The politics of “I love you.” • Supervisors love a worker who overextends. The moment that worker protests and insists on equity, the worker may be accused of insubordination, and the once model worker becomes a problem that needs to be eliminated. • Constituents love politicians who provide handouts during election season and hate thoseContinue reading “The Politics of “I love you””
THE POWERFUL PROMISE
Each time I visit this place to conduct business, we enjoy a friendly exchange. Within this context, I would say we have a good relationship. His greetings are kind, and our banter is always respectful. Today, I was simply passing by, so we greeted each other in the same manner we would if I wereContinue reading “THE POWERFUL PROMISE”
FIX YOUR POSTURE.
We all have scriptures that we rely on to take us through each day. For me, there are several, but the two that remain constant utterances are: Psalm 139:23-24 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me and leadContinue reading “FIX YOUR POSTURE.”
JUST BE A BLESSING….
The scratch on the black BMW was evident, but so too was the look of despair on the face of the man in the blue Honda Fit who caused it. “I don’t know what happened. I just didn’t see you. Sorry!” He lamented as he sat in his vehicle looking up at the owner ofContinue reading “JUST BE A BLESSING….”
MAYBE IT’S ME!
“The Chronicles of a Woman: The Truth-Teller” explores self-reflection through seven poems, prompting readers to consider their role in relationships, accountability, and the discomfort of examining one’s faults.
And 2024 was a success… not BUT!
Many of us started 2024 with a list of things we hoped to achieve. For many, the desires of our heart were attached to the house, the car, the job, the improved relationship with loved ones, or a new romantic relationship. Despite the efforts of many, it seemed that none of those things would comeContinue reading “And 2024 was a success… not BUT!”
WORRY LOVE
It had only been a week since the passing of a colleague’s parent, and when asked how he was doing he said he was doing fine. “I am calm, so maybe it has not hit me yet,” he said. “Soon, it will. I am sure,” he continued. “Maybe, this is the peace beyond understanding thatContinue reading “WORRY LOVE”
Disobedient adults
As I took the sharp corner to make my way through the hills and valleys (literally), I burst out laughing. It occurred to me that if I, as an adult, have such a challenge with obedience, what say my daughter.
DisappointHIM
The post explores the concept of disappointment in oneself and from others, emphasizing that such feelings often stem from personal value systems, particularly a faith-based one. It highlights the importance of examining expectations, recognizing when they conflict with one’s values, and understanding the role of humility in addressing disappointments related to one’s relationship with God.
PARENTING, ADVOCACY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN 