It is so interesting that we have gotten to a place, as parents, where we can say with a straight face “I blame the TV…”
The audacity of us to even utter those words… it is almost hilarious – no, not ALMOST, it IS hilarious and a tad embarrassing. It would be a complete and utter fallacy if I were to state that I had never uttered those words. The truth is, I too, at some point or the other, have actually said this. What a fool I was. As with any other consumer product, we all have choices! We can choose what our children watch – what they fill their brains with. We have the choice to turn off the TV or change the channel when the programmes do not suit what we are working hard at achieving.
When mothers get together, we talk. We talk about homework; the development of our children; what they eat; how they behave and why. I have actually engaged in discussions with a number of mothers (and fathers) on several different occasions where I have heard, in different settings that the Television is to be blamed for the types of behaviours that our children are exhibiting.
Can I just say right here and now that the TV is NOT to be blamed? We become so consumed with the “madness” of our lives that the TV is used to quell so many of the “battles” we face. When we come home from work tired and beat, and we need to prepare the dinner, what do we do? On the weekend when we just need an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep, what do we do? Do we turn off the TV when we go to sleep or when we want them to eat something we know is good for them, but they believe is “yucky”? What do we do? We use the television as a bartering tool – as a way of getting them to eat; as a way of getting them out of our hair; as a way of distracting them, etc. So instead of standing our grounds, we place our children before the TV and tell them they have until the end of “Sponge Bob”, etc. to finish the meal.
We battle on the phones with the “baby daddies”/”mommies” and the “live-in” boyfriend, friends, family members, etc., and we need the children out of the room, so we send them to the living room to watch I-Carly or any other “kiddies” programme that we have not sufficiently screened.
How, then, can we blame the TV when we control the remote?
Truthfully, we have sat with our children to watch some of these “children” programmes, so we know what they entail. The fact that they are being broadcast on Disney doesn’t mean that they are necessarily entirely appropriate for our children. While it is true that if our children consume these programmes on a daily basis they will adapt some of these behaviours as displayed on TV, ULTIMATELY the responsibility lies with the parent or guardian to prevent this happening.
My observation is that our children will do what we tell them!! It is true! No matter how they throw a tantrum, in the end, they really do NOT have a choice! If we tell them “No I Carly” or “No Ant Farm” and explain why, eventually they will get used to not watching these programmes. There are many other “wholesome” programmes on TV that we can turn our backs and let them view. Programmes that when we say “it’s the TV’s fault…” we can at least be proud (because of something good being exhibited) and not hold our heads in shame! And guess what? We can also confiscate the remote once we have selected a programme.
Plus, if all else fail, we also have the option of ordering the type of package we want from our cable providers; OR, better yet, we can block certain channels. So the next time you engage in conversation about the programmes on TV and their impact on our children, remember that the TV is not to be blamed. After all, WE DO CONTROL THE REMOTE. We are parents who pay rent!
Peace be with you as we strive to uncover and confront the truth about parenting.
Blessing!
@ Stacey A Palmer 2012
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