Christmas is around the corner!!! YAAY! I can’t wait, because “it’s the most wonderful time of the year…”
Let us hit the pause button on all that excitement, because none of that matters…. TO ME.
Unlike most, Christmas is not my thing, for more reasons than one. Plus, the commercialized madness does something to my brain…. Whatever the reason(s)…. whenever I receive “Merry Christmas” messages, my first reaction is “okaayyyy….”? But that is what I say in my head. Instead of being a Grinch, I usually exchange the quickest most used appreciation platitude I can think of…. “thank you, and same to you….” Either that or the more genuine approach of “happy holidays…”
Don’t judge me… or judge me.
But guess what? In the grand scheme of parenting things, I am forced to step outside of myself and operate within a compromise, since my daughter is, in parts, the opposite of me. She likes Christmas and SOME of what it brings. She likes the lights, the trees, the Carols, the family gathering and the food. Plus, she doesn’t mind opening a gift or two.
(Ok, lemme hasten to say that I LOVE fruit cake and sorrel…. So there is that….)
Back to normal programming….
So how do I usually make this work?
Typically, we decorate our tiny tree, which we have had for about 8 years, and I place a few gifts under the small table on which the tree sits. On Christmas day, she is excited about opening her gifts, and we do breakfast together. On Christmas afternoon, she goes elsewhere and engages in all the other components mentioned above. Her Christmas needs are satisfied. All is well in my yuletide parenting….
That was then….. Now, things have changed… drastically!
This Christmas, we are living in a pandemic where social distancing and mask-wearing are mandated. Many things about our “usual” are interrupted. Gatherings cannot be what they were, (even family gatherings) on the premise that these can potentially turn into super-spreader events, especially since people tend to operate in a carefree and maskless manner when they are around loved ones, even when they do not reside with you.
For the introverts like me, especially those who do not engage in the Christmas niceness (I wanted to say madness, but I must respect the Christmas lovers and not be a Grinch), we are good. The physical/social distancing suits us well. For my daughter who thrives with a good balance between introversion and extroversion, this has been challenging, with the school year being what is has been. With this in mind, how do we cater to their Christmas needs and create some yuletide “normalcy” in this new normal?
Admittedly, I do not have all the answers to the parenting quandary, but I do try….
Instead of assuming what would work for her, I listened to her. She requested for the (tiny) tree to be up early, and for the place to be decorated. She also requested a very specific menu (she is vegan, and I am not).
In response, I selected one area in our home and concentrated the decorations there… my 8-year-old tree is up, the lights are up and the “pretty-pretty” too…. There are stars, a 3D paper Santa and a bunch of other Christmassy ornaments (rolls eyes). She is semi delighted!
The menu items were prepared and sorrel brewed (hers without any sweeteners, and mine with a toops). We are well on our way to making this for her what she wants it to be.
Me, on the other hand, as long as I have cake, sorrel and a good movie, I am good.
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Even with all that re-imagined “yuletiding”, things did not go as I had planned for us on “Christmas day”, because there is ALWAYS something in the parenting journey to put a spoke in our parenting wheels, but we press on, STILL and make it what it we can.
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What is certain is that the pandemic has interrupted life as we knew it. Our children are feeling the brunt of it, while parents are struggling to make sense (cents) of it. Supermarket costs have skyrocketed; jobs are lost; outside school is no-more; face to face socializing has been minimized; uniforms are folded and moulded; book bags are shelved; school shoes are dry-rotting, and social skills are plummeting…
But…we are thankful still!
For those of us fortunate enough to be alive, we are encouraged to make the best of each day. Christmas may not mean anything to some, and for those of you who care, it was not what it used to be. However, coming to the end of another year, especially 2020 as it has been, is reason enough to step outside of ourselves and re-imagine our modus operandi during the rest of the yuletide season. It surely represents the end of an unbelievably challenging year and certainly a reason to give thanks to be alive, when so many others have transitioned. So, if you are like me and do not celebrate in the manner that most do, be thankful still…. In the midst of it all, God is working. It is hard to believe, but we MUST trust and keep the faith…..
…and let us, in this pandemic pandemonium, be deliberate about how we approach parenting in the New Year….
….while we remain thankful, STILL!
PARENTING, ADVOCACY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN 