A LIVING CHANGE!

“Live your life in a way that suits you,

but don’t set out to hurt people.

Apologize when you are wrong,

And don’t hesitate to walk away

from that which doesn’t

serve your soul.”

Stacey A Palmer, 2021

On this journey called life, we either change or we remain the same.  Many have actually said that this current situation has highlighted much of societal ills as well as those ills that exist in us.   In other words, we can’t help but notice the world as a whole an ourselves as individuals.  Many of us would never openly admit our flaws, but we have to live with them.  On this pandemic journey, some of us have changed for the better, others of us have changed for the worst, then there are those of us whom have remained stagnant, usually by choice or by fear.  There are those who are literally out in these streets making other people’s lives a living hell, with very little regard for the repercussions.  Either way, the way we choose to respond to life – to our situations – especially as the world struggles to completely recover from this ensuing pandemonium, is really up to us, within our individual context.  Whatever the case, the way I see it is, we have a choice to live our lives on our terms, but we must understand and be prepared for what will follow, because good or bad, something WILL follow.   

A few days after my soup and patty customer service situation (last blog post), I had an interesting experience with someone (not a stranger this time) that was cause for pause.  ‘twas one of those situations that tested my internal evolution – that part of me that I have to live with and must answer to when no one is around – the part of me that stays in prayer and not connected to any mere mortal.  Within that “interesting experience”, I had two options:  I could have stung with my retort or I could have silently walked away in love.  I chose the latter.   Having experienced pain at its highest level and having learned how to use pain for purpose, it is the most difficult thing, today, for any human being to ruffle my feathers deeply.  I may feel the emotion of an “insult,” for example, because I am smart enough to know what a person is attempting, but it doesn’t stay with me – certainly not for an extended period.  I outgrew that when the lesson of “Pain’s Purpose[1]” became cemented into my psyche. 

The way I see it, every day presents itself as an opportunity to reflect and to correct.  In fact, I relish AND crave growth.   Change is hard, especially once a person has decided to become a better human being.  Once we have made this commitment to ourselves, we do not have a choice but to work toward changing those habits that we have been comfortable with for a long time, especially those that do not serve our souls or that which have been damaging (in one way or another) to ourselves and to others (this includes the the unkind things done to us).  This is where we MUST make the choice to be intentional about our growth.    

In so doing, we must be prepared to answer to ourselves in our quiet and sacred spaces, reserved only for those who belong there.  The more we interact and the wiser and more deliberate we become, is the more unapologetically resolute we are about those we WANT there.  That, to me, is the most freeing and enlightening thing ever!  When we discover what brings that internal peace – true peace that cannot come from anything else outside of us – we operate on our own terms by living a life that makes our soul smile. 

With that being said, one of the kindest and most valuable gifts we can give ourselves is learning to walk away in love.  By that I mean, when exiting stage left, we harbor no ill-will or hatred toward those who have wronged us, those who have offended us, and/or those who do not honor who we are or are becoming – those who do not mean us well.    When you get right down to it, there is truly no need for a repetitive and counter-productive back-and-forthing about that which you need.  You simply leave that space, for good, but with LOVE!  That is an awesome feeling of intentional self-care built on the foundation of LOVE.  As a “walk-awayer” and a textbook introvert, I learned a long time ago that not everyone is for us, and we are not for everyone.   I don’t think there is any human being who knows this more than me.  Truly!  As the Bible reported it, many people hated Jesus and openly showed Him that disdain.  Why, then, would I be so pompous to believe that everyone is going to like/love me, and why would I walk around being flustered by those who don’t?  Pointless!  Therefore, when we discover that people do not mean us well, for whatever reason, walk away – with LOVE!

To complement the ability to walk away (in love) is being able to apologize for that which we may have done to others, because none of us is always blameless.  The complex thing about an apology is that a person may not require it or may not even accept it (this is also applicable when the apology is being given to the “walk-awayer”. You may accept it and still decide to skedaddle with love).   What is important is what we feel internally in that sacred space – that place that gives us inner peace.   Once you know that you are operating from a genuine place, let it go and move on.  The truth of the matter is that the more we are going to blunder about so many things as we traverse life’s road, including those we entertain that we shouldn’t, because we ignored those red flag moments or for whatever other reasons we may have opted to entertain these people.  None of it is a mistake… all of it is a lesson.  Learn it!

As we continue to navigate this pandemic and struggle to return to “normalcy” (whatever that means to each of us), we have the choice to live our lives in a way that suits us without deliberately causing harm…

As for me, I will continue to live on my own terms and let that which pains me (on whatever level), propel my growth!

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[1] Pain’s Purpose, from “The Chronicles of a Woman:  The Truth-Teller” by Stacey A Palmer available on www.amazon.com