YEAR ONE!

YEAR ONE!

My public declaration to follow Jesus as my Lord and Saviour happened a year ago, and what a year it has been!  BUT GOD.  Notwithstanding the spiritual battles, here are some profound lessons and reminders of the last year:

Sanctification is painful.   Sanctification, the process by which we are conformed into the image of Christ, is like having a root canal of the soul (but without the anaesthesia).  When we pray “create in me a clean heart O God….” and mean it, best believe that God will take us through that which cleansing requires.  Madison Yount said it best: “sometimes to get the cleanest, we have to finish walking through the filth.”  We don’t just go to bed and wake up with a heart whiter than snow.  Instead, we go through the process of pruning, of washing, of cleansing, of uprooting, disposing, and restoring.  This involves the revelation of who we are, who we are not, as well as who people are and who they are not to us.  The sanctification process – a painful and necessary one – gave me a profound reassurance that my pain has purpose, because it solidifies my reliance on God in every aspect of my life.  It taught me that God is in our experiences, which will ultimately be used for our good (Romans 8:28).  I learned that I just need to be patient and let my sanctification process continue to run its course.

My bad habits are lurking, patiently waiting for me to engage:  When we talk about bad habits, we often think about the obvious, ie. fornication, gossip, gluttony, etc.  Outside of the typical, there are other unconventional bad habits that rear their ugly heads from time to time:  this includes, but not limited to, worry and isolation.  There are times when I am the epitome of firm in faith and trusting God…. Then something happens and worry lies to me, and I sometimes believe…  There’s that, and then there’s the matter of isolation:  While being by oneself is not a bad thing on the surface, isolation is the plan of the enemy to lead us away from community and into our heads, which only leads to destruction.  Some things require the prayers of a TRUSTED community.  Instead of staying in my cocoon, I have been more intentional about spending time with those who are serious about glorifying God and have had some success in that department.  Though I am not fully cured of those unconventional bad habits, and still have intermittent struggles with others, I am understanding the plans of the enemy and how to surrender so I do not give in to what my flesh wants.

Forgiveness is a decision:  There is no way around forgiveness once you have given your life to Christ.  Forgiveness or the lack thereof is one of the most important aspects of our salvation. In fact, my “renewal” year has forced me to ask God how forgiveness should physically manifest after I have mentally done so, because I truly don’t believe it requires reconciliation in all instances.  One pastor asserted that “Forgiveness is first a decision, and then it is a process”.  He is right.  Our human experiences are so complex and nuanced that forgiveness may not manifest the same under every circumstance.  For example, the act that was done by a person may have been so grave that to return to that situation would not be wise. Someone else may argue that to forgive means to deal with the person as if the offense never took place, which means returning to what was.  That may not be wise, because forgiveness of a person is not an indicator that they have repented, etc. I have learned that despite what has happened to us and regardless of the close ties we may have to those who hurt us (which typically intensifies our pain and our subsequent response), we must first make the decision to forgive, even when those we love do not acknowledge the harm they have done to us.  Once we do that, we must be open to the ongoing process, which involves asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to us our role and to repent accordingly.  The process is, therefore, ongoing because the devil likes to remind us of the pain we endured to keep us stuck, so we must stick to the process and repeat the steps. 

The other side to the forgiveness coin is just as important. We must be willing to acknowledge when we have hurt others and to ask God to forgive us of trespassing against others and repent of our wayward ways.  Pride keeps many of us in an unaccountable and unrepentant chokehold and causes many to stray because of our refusal to see ourselves as flawed/sinners.

SURSA is up to me: To Study, Understand, Remember, Share and Apply His Word is up to me. I must be willing – to exercise my free will – to immerse myself in understanding who God is, which can only happen through His Word. I can’t rely on a Sunday morning sermon. I must read and cross-reference as if my life depends on it, because it does! Then I need to ensure that I am living and teaching according to the leading/teaching of the Holy Spirit.

Surrender must occur daily.  There is not a day when I do not give every aspect of my life over to God (or at least try to), because I cannot, in the flesh of me, do any minute of the day without Him.  Obviously, there are those days when it is not as easy as it is for me to write it here, which means I must remind myself to cast all my burdens and every activity of every day at the Lord’s feet. After all, God’s instruction to walk in my renewal was clear, which calls for my daily surrender.

Spiritual maturity and the number of years in church are not one and the same: I was starving for spiritual guidance and sound teachings from those I knew had been in the faith for way longer than I had been.  Not so!  This was a hard one to realize and accept, but it became abundantly clear to me having experienced repercussions of that assumption.   I have learnt that the death of and to one’s flesh is not automatic after baptism:  Many believers are still in love with our sin and our old way of being.  So much so, that we still choose to operate in and as who we were before we declared ourselves saved. In other words, there is no learning; there is no growing; there is no seeking; therefore, there is no finding.  When there is none of that which is needed for spiritual growth, people remain in a space of being spiritually stunted.  People who are spiritually stunted do not always appear that way on the surface.  They remain in this state because many are attracted to performative Christianity than the reliance on the Holy Spirit for discernment.

Praying without ceasing is an important feature of operating in ones renewal.  Prayer is a fundamental way of keeping us connected to God.  Though I have always prayed, I came to a different understanding of the significance of prayer and my connection to God, which is deeply connected to scriptures.  God allowed me to experience supernatural deliverance through my prayers.  In this year, I learned how to really pray, which according to William Jackson requires the establishment of place (an intentional space), period (time), plan (prayer points), and posture (reverence).   My reliance on the Holy Spirit to guide my prayer has been cemented as I now clearly see the connection of obedience and righteousness to prayers.

Spiritual warfare is inevitable:  Nothing could have prepared me for what I experienced.  The moment I began operating in my “yes,” it happened in such quick succession; it was almost as if someone was designing and executing the hits – evidently, “someone” was.  I now know that the extent to which you are serious will determine the intensity of the attacks.  You name it, I went through it!  In fact, the enemy will use the loopholes of those in your space to attack, especially those who refuse daily surrender.  The navigation of that has been tough, but it continues to be part of the spiritual growth, which served to build my faith.

You can still be alone in a congregation of believers:  People are people wherever you go.  Despite going to church for the community, it is not automatic that you will always feel a part of the community in the real sense.  There are church cliques that you cannot infiltrate.  In the congregation, there are long-standing members who are sometimes unwelcoming and suspicious and who do not extend kindness.  BUT… you must be intentional about how you extend yourself in the space, as a “new believer”, regardless of what you may feel regarding the evidence of love according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

To hear God, I must be still:  Of importance to me is the content I digest to feed my thirst for understanding the word.  Because of this, I tend to consume one thing after the next; this includes reading the Bible and other Christian literature, listening to Podcasts, sermons, worship music and all things God centered.  All of this is necessary, yes.  But how am I going to hear God if I am always immersed.  Then as clear as day I heard, “you are listening to too many voices….”  Today, I am deliberate about making time to hear Him.  I ask the Holy Spirit for leading, so there are days when there is no worship music in the car.  I pray, then I listen.   I read the Bible then I listen.  I won’t nor can I truly say that distractions don’t come even in those times of intentionality, but I am always reminded that I should listen.  Imagine initiating a conversation with someone and then turning on the music as they are about to speak?  Serving, glorifying God, being obedient, and worshipping God calls for us to be still.

Love is intentional.  I have had to pull out the 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 on many occasions to remind myself what is required of me, because I don’t always feel what the scripture instructs, not in every space.  Us humans are challenging.  In an earlier blog, I reported the findings of a few who stated that love is not second nature – not for most…. In fact, I don’t know if I have ever met anyone who ALWAYS embodies love (as scripture instructs).    But we must because God’s ultimate instructions to us is to love Him, love our neighbours as we do ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40).  There is no way around it; we must do this.

My protection is not my responsibility.  For too long I have been operating in a space where I feel the need to protect myself.  Now, I pray and trust Him to guide me and steer me.  While my guard is not completely down, I do not always have my gloves on and in a fighting stance.  Indeed, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil. 

Though this list is obviously not exhaustive, I accept the undisputed fact that to navigate our walk to become Christ-like, we must know the Truth, which is the Word.  All of what I experienced since my public declaration could not have been navigated without divine intervention, which I believe had everything to do with me being intentional about knowing who God is.  Our public declaration means nothing if we are not surrendering and doing as His Word instructs; it means nothing if we remain in our sinful state; our public declaration means nothing if we continue to operate in a state of unforgiveness and lovelessness.  If we are not willing to humble ourselves and become meek, our public declaration means nothing.  We must be willing to adjust our physical posture to exemplify the heart of Christ.  God doesn’t expect perfection from us, but when we recognize our sin (those obvious and unconventional) and allow our convictions to course correct with a contrite heart, we will come under attack.  It is simply the plan of the enemy to kill, steal and destroy, but we are required to stand firm in faith.   Therefore, everything about how we experience this earth must be intentional.  We must be intentional about not forsaking the gathering, about forgiveness, about giving people grace, stepping out of fear, allowing God to fight our battles, and we must be intentional about loving God, ourselves and others (which MUST happen concurrently).  In all this, I look forward to however long I have left and pray that I continue to trust God in all things.