A word series: “INCONSEQUENTIAL”

I found the perfect work outfit, this time in a jiffy.  The blouse was easy to iron – the trousers, not so much, but all I needed to do was to get the extra creases out.  Nobody’s gonna know … how will they know…?   Once I have sat down to drive and have gotten up, you won’t be able to tell that I didn’t give it much ironing attention.  All’s well with the start of my day.

Anyhow, I am almost to the end of the ironing process – more than halfway down the left leg of the butterscotch “Next” trouser – when I saw it clear as day.  It was a yellowish stain – the type that comes from clothing sitting in a drawer for over two years not worn (darn you pandemic).  The stain was very deliberate too and perfectly patterned – as though it had a right to be there.  Having almost completed this task I royally dislike and having resolved my outfit for the day with great ease, what’s a woman to now do? 

In a split second it hit me! This yellowish stain sitting on the leg of my butterscotch trouser was INCONSEQUENTIAL, to me (plus, butterscotch and yellow are related in appearance, right?). Fundamentally, this stain will not affect my life in any way, shape or form.  I will have gone about my day not looking down at my leg as I walk, drive, interact, transact or banter.  I would have known that it is there, then forgotten and would not have cared. So I laid out my outfit on the edge of the bed and executed the getting-ready process as I normally would have.  Why would I have spent another 30 minutes to endure the outfit-selection/ironing process all over again?  I think NOT.

The day’s activities came and went! If the few people with whom I came into contact throughout the day saw it, none of them said anything about it – not that it would have mattered to me.  The fact is that my posture was one of normalcy and a little on the side of reckless abandon (in my mind’s eyes).    Nothing about the stain changed me or my perspective.  Furthermore, I have already deduced that literally everyone we meet has their own stain that they are trying to rid themself and often one that they hope no one notices. In my case, I decided that it was INCONSEQUENTIAL, so it would not have mattered if it were pointed out.

The point of all this is that there are many things/interjections that happen in our lives that are meant to derail the plans we/HE would have carefully made for us.  Some of them are so minuscule, but because of what we (over) think others will say about these things, we blow them out of proportion and make them into bigger things than they needed to have been in the first place.    My many experiences, thus far, have cemented that many of these occurrences/mishaps, etc. are INCONSEQUENTIAL in the grand scheme of things, and we literally need to get out of our own heads and dismiss them as such – inconsequential. 

Things happen…. Not everything is meant to be a big deal.

When those stains of life show up, there is no point looking down.  Why give your energy and attention to something that will not prevent your left leg from functioning as it normally does – taking you where you need to be.  We have to treat those stains for what they are – inconsequential.  But what does it mean for a thing to be considered inconsequential?  Simply, when something is inconsequential it is not important – it has little to no significance – in the manner that the stain on my trouser did.  If something has very little significance, we shouldn’t let it affect us and prevent us from functioning as we normally would.  It is not too difficult to learn when a thing is not important.  We simply have to ask ourselves a series of questions, within the context of our unique situation(s), for example:

• Will this thing affect me/who I am in a real way?
• Am I over-thinking this thing?
• Am I living in my head and creating scenarios?
• Is this a fundamental concern or am I making it so?
• Will this affect the price of rice, light, gas, fish, medical care, etc.?

Accordingly, we must learn how to correctly identify those INCONSEQUENTIAL things and apply the energy they deserve.  For many, this may not be as easy, because we operate in our own heads and create scenarios that do not even exist, when the truth is that NO ONE CARES…. Fundamentally!  Guaranteed, if someone makes your stain a major issue, it is usually because they are masking their own.  As human beings, we tend to use other people’s “inconsequentials” as a shame tactic to create a distraction from our own crap.  In whatever capacity you operate – parenting, advocacy, your unique profession, love life, etc., decide now what your yellow stain on a butterscotch trouser is and treat it as such!   

I have since laundered the trouser but genuinely did not check to see if my inconsequential has been removed.  Matters not, because I like the outfit and will definitely be wearing it again …..